A man I only knew for 8 months passed away a week ago.  When he came into my life, he was fighting cancer, and it was cancer that finally claimed his life.

I seldom heard him complain – even when the chemo was really kicking him in stones.  He was always up, always optimistic, always sure he would beat the disease.  I’ve never met a more positive, enthusiastic, passionate person in my life.

Sadly, he wasn’t able to overcome the cancer.

Mrs. 146lbs and I made the 2-hour drive to his funeral and I was overwhelmed to see thousands of people packed into the church; literally thousands. I cannot begin to imagine all of people’s lives that he affected for the better.

I learned a lot more about him at the funeral than I knew when he was alive.  That’s how full his life was. I knew him when he blew into town as a consultant for the company where I work. He was working on some special expansion projects and during the course of his contract we became friendly; bounced ideas off each other, that sort of thing.

So I wouldn’t say I was a close friend, but he made a huge impression on me that someone with the odds stacked against them could lead such a normal life and take such pleasure from the little things.

At his funeral, the priest mentioned that even as he checked into the hospital for the last time he was still working on his “bucket list” – adding new things he wanted to do (and this was a man who didn’t plan to do things someday; when the urge to “do” hit him, he “did”).

How powerful is that? He knew he was short on time, but he was still looking forward to what else he could cram into his life.

On the drive home Mrs. 146 asked, “why do we wait to do the things on our bucket lists?  In fact, why do we make these someday-maybe-I’ll-have-the-time bucket lists in the first place?  What are we waiting for?”

That’s a damn good question. What are we living for? To wake up, go to work, make dinner, watch TV, and go to bed? That’s how I’ve been living my life for far to long – and when you step back and really look at it and think about it – really think about the mind numbing drudgery that most of us endure day-in-and-day-out how can we help but feel overwhelmed and depressed?

As far as I know, I have a good 40 years still out front of me (statistically anyway) and I can’t say I’m living my life to the fullest.  I’ve always assumed that someday I would be able to travel, or learn a new language, or start another company, or jump out of a plane, or lose weight, or any number of things that seem to be perpetually out there ready for someday to come around.

How stupid is that? I might wake up tomorrow with cancer and only have 2.5 years left. Could I really fulfill all of the things I want to do in 30 months? Hell, I don’t even know all of the things I want to do! It might take me 30 months to completely finish making a list.

I don’t know everything that’s on my bucket list right now, but I damn sure know going forward I’m going to be consciously aware of the time slipping by me and I am going to look at my life and see how I can give more than I take back to the world.

I may never be the most passionate, positive person people will ever meet – but I can do a lot better job than I’ve been doing. I don’t want to look back on my life in ten years and see that I’m essentially doing the exact same thing – mindless of the wonder and beauty in life which is so easy to overlook when you’re head is in the fog of the daily grind.

Rest in peace, Jack.  You’ve taught me a lot in the short, short time we knew each other.  You will be missed!

Related posts:

  1. My OMG Moment
  2. Revisiting my personal mission statement.
  3. The American Way…of food.